[personal profile] jmtorres, you can rest easy knowing that I am just as cracked on my own, apparently

Jun. 14th, 2006 05:46 pm
niq: (Default)
[personal profile] niq
So, uh, I was talking to [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve. And SGA came up. As did young!Hewlett and his cheekbones. And then the crack fairy came and dusted us, or at least me, with hashish or possibly acid.

And that's how I ended up this vague, rough outline for a story.


[16:12] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Indeed! ...eventually, I will get caught up on SG1 and SGA and then start wading my way through the sheer badness that Hewlett's and Flannigan's previous careers hold. Especially the early!Hewlett. Mm, pretty,.
[16:13] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Oh god. The things I have watched for the sake of the Hewlett and the Flan. The *things*. Danielle Steele movies. Shows where David Hewlett turns into a cartoon robot. Movies where David Hewlett can *cure puppies with his brain*
[16:13] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: It's like a sickness.
[16:13] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: But Christ on a bike, David Hewlett had cheekbones you could *shave* with when he was eighteen or so.
[16:13] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: I've seen some caps from stuff he was in at that age. Dear *god*, yes, the cheekbones. He was *pretty*.
[16:14] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: He was, like. Jailbait.
[16:15] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: ...oh my god, no brain, NO. Just no.

(I have a friend whose nickname from me is Jailbait as he is absurdly pretty and all of barely!17. He was 15 when I met him. Anyway. I just contemplated putting him in, like, an SGA uniform and having him be the complement to Jenn's Teacher's Pet series--baby!McKay instead of baby!Sheppard.)
[16:16] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: I really kind of want that fic now. Baby!Rodney and baby!Daniel and mini!Jack herding them, going "oh my GOD, they really were WORSE when they were this age. HELP."
[16:16] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: The cute could possibly slay from fifteen feet.
[16:17] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Jesus. They'd be like the Muppet Babies. Only on crack, and hyper intelligent, and with all the morals of a small group of cats, and big eyes that make the ovaries of every female explode
[16:17] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: I've seen pictures of a six year old Hewlett. The *eyes*
[16:17] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: They would!
[16:17] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: They form half his body mass
[16:17] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: ...oh god.
[16:17] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: *whimpers*
[16:21] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Oh, the Hewlett. He has ruined me for other men!
[16:21] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: *giggles*
[16:21] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Somehow, McKay gets turned into baby!McKay. He's still just as brilliant, but he's SIX and much less emotionally mature and capable of handling his temper. But he's actually even BETTER at running Atlantis than he was as an adult, because his brain is all squishy and moldable. Zelenka is going just a tiiiiny bit mad because he really wants to duct-tape the brat and shove him in a closet but he CAN'T because he needs the little fucker.
[16:22] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: God, Zelenka would *flip*
[16:22] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: And he really wants to punch the women who are cooing over him.
[16:22] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: The women who work in the labs and have seen him on a tear are down with Zelenka on this.
[16:23] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: "We'll sit on them, you make with the punching. I don't CARE how cute he is! He destroyed my workstation and declared that I am a moron and rewrote half my equations before he wandered off bored."
[16:23] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: "And then he asked me for cookies half an hour later."
[16:24] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: But Rodney as a child would disarm and confuse utterly. Cherubic six year old! With the foul mouth of a docker!
[16:24] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: yes, this is true.
[16:25] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: And the others would defend him. Including John.
[16:25] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: But John would only defend him because he likes to drive Radek crazy
[16:26] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: "He just needs his nap, Zelenka. You know what he's like without naptime!" *Sheppard look that is 80% innocence, 20% pouty*
[16:26] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: *giggles*
[16:27] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: "I DON'T WANT A NAP. *screaming fit* I want to play with my equations! And finish building my jumper!"
[16:27] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Zelenka: *twitchtwitch* *picks him up and shoves him at John* You defend him, you get to put him down for nap. Have fun!
[16:27] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Complete with blond curls!
[16:28] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Radek: *mutters* "Should be renamed Damien."
[16:28] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Haha, yes, exactly.
[16:28] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Rodney: *falls asleep with arms wrapped around John's neck, drools on his shoulder*
[16:29] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: John: Ew, drool. *secretly inwardly a little bit touched*
[16:30] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Especially with the blond curls tickling his chin.
[16:30] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: .... oh god, when did I turn broody? When?
[16:30] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Damn the Hewlett!
[16:31] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: *dying*
[16:31] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: I blame my brooding, nesty instinct on my friend who has a five month old.
[16:31] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: My ovaries go "hey, lady, we can give you one of those! you'd love it!" And my brain goes and twitches in a corner at the idea.
[16:35] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: They eventually recruit mini!Jack because they think possibly baby!McKay will respond better to someone younger(-looking) and closer to his own age who is smart enough to follow him and tough enough to control him. It, um, doesn't go well at first. And the women are very concerned about little Rodney because he's so quiet now and has prey-eyes, the nervous ones where you can tell they're just looking and waiting for a predator to pounce. But Rodney is much better behaved, they'll admit, he was adorable and precious but not always nice, and it's pretty nice to get through lunch again without a screaming fit or two.
[16:36] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: mini!Jack would be very... polite.
[16:37] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: He would freak John out *so much*
[16:37] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Haha, oh man. Especially if he got the background on exactly who this brat is.
[16:37] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: "...that's General O'Neill."
[16:37] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: "Well, ort of."
[16:39] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: And then mini Daniel would just babble *everywhere*, every other sentence out of his mouth "What's that? What does it do? Can I touch it?" and for some reason, no matter how often they resize his clothes for him, everything is two sizes too big for him.
[16:39] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Even his glasses
[16:42] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: *dying* Yes. Now, if baby!Daniel is about 12 or so... Jack is always very warm to him but if Jack has to discipline Rodney around Daniel, Daniel gets this haunted look in his eyes and goes away and hides for awhile. They can never find him without John's help and even he has trouble getting the city to tell him. They're still not exactly sure how Daniel managed to get the city to do that for him since he hasn't got the gene.
[16:43] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: (Oh, Daniel would *talk* to it. He can't understand why people just don't talk in Ancient to it; it misses the language, which makes perfect sense to Daniel. Sometimes, he reads it poetry. Until Rodney finds out and mocks him for it.)
[16:44] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: (Of course, then Jack finds out about Rodney's mockery. And that can't be good)
[16:44] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Oh, yes, definitely.
[16:48] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: But despite that, Jack ends up very protective of little Rodney as well, because, well, helloooooo daddy issues. He and Zelenka are not on good terms because Zelenka is always muttering under his breath about the brat and that doesn't sit well with Jack. "Look, Zinka, he's six. His brain is the size of this planet, but he's a small children and small children are not known for their patience or emotional maturity. Instead of taking it out on him, simmer the fuck down and work on fixing it, okay? We clear?"
[16:49] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: (And, oh god, I just pictured what would go down when they got McKay back to his proper size and mental age. "Oh god. *hyperventilates* I drooled on your shoulder. Multiple times. I drooled on Elizabeth's shoulder. Excuse me, I need to go hide now and never show my face again.)
[16:51] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Jack would be *such* a good daddy. Even with all the issues that's bound to bring out in him. At least Jack is, you know, one of the few functional adults who has ever worked for the SGC
[16:54] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: He *adores* kids. He likes them because they're uncomplicated. They lie, sure, but they're crap at it, and they're blunt in a way that pretty much no adult ever is. baby!Rodney charms him even if he does have to ride the kid's ass horribly to keep him, you know, fit for company.
[16:55] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: God, he'd raise him to have manners. Mostly. And they would bond over hockey, which they both know is the only true sport.
[16:56] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Between that, and Zelenka's insane addiction to the World Cup ("3-0! Colonel, does your soccer team actually have any acquaintance with actual sport of soccer?"), John would be feeling very outnumbered in the sports department.
[16:57] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Haha, oh yes.
[16:57] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Even Ronon would desert him, because he thinks hockey is much more interesting (read: more violent. also, ice, which was very exotic on Sateda)
[16:57] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: *grins*
[16:59] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: (Oh, god, that would be exciting and weird. Restored!McKay and Jack interacting. McKay has the weird and disturbing tendency to want to call him Daddy. Jack is all, "...greaaat, we have the asshole that I wanted to dropkick out a spacelock back. I want my kid back." but only thinks this to himself because it would be such a bad idea to say it and while he doesn't have tact he does have self-preservation..)
[17:00] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: ... Rodney calling Jack 'Dad'? I. I think I may love you. Just a little.
[17:01] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: He would, like, stop mid-sentence, upon hearing it leave his mouth, and just sort of gape at himself in horror. "Oh god. I need coffee. And sugar. And possibly a gun with which to kill myself."
[17:03] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Jack: "Well. This is awkward."
[17:03] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: While Teyla makes that little face which means she's compressing all her stomach muscles at once in an attempt not to die laughing.
[17:03] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Yes! John tries along with her and completely fails on that count.
[17:05] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: (John's stomach muscles? Just not that impressive)
[17:06] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Oh, yes. He hates doing crunches. He only does them when he notices he's starting to get that tiiiiny itty-bitty proto-roll that comes not from fat from lack of muscle tone and only until it goes away again.
[17:07] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: John doing stomach crunches? Oh, hi. I'm having a moment.
[17:08] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: *giiiiiggles* Yes, his shirt would ruck up over his stomach and you'd get a peek at that little line of hair from the navel...

*has a moment of her own*
[17:11] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Danny is precious and so un-jealous of his little brother, and he's bewildered and hurt and abandoned when Rodney goes away. He doesn't speak English for a week--only Arabic with an occasional spate of French. Jack has a splitting headache that entire week, he hates hearing Arabic and speaking it is even worse. He downs, like, half a bottle of Excedrin, and doesn't once tell Danny to at least speak in French for him.
[17:13] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Oh god. Daniel and Rodney as kind of brothers. The competing academic egos! Rodney telling Daniel that linguistics is stupid and silly and pointless, and Daniel having a fit at Rodney in about fifteen different languages. And then Rodney feels guilty when he sees Daniel is really upset (because frankly, I think the times Rodney sets out to purposefully hurt someone are minimal), and then they're all hugging, little fists and Rodney saying "'m sorry, I'm sorry" and. Oh god. I may need insulin.
[17:18] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Oh, lord. Yes, that exactly. And Jack is lurking in a corner, watching this whole fit, waiting to see if they'll work it out on their own and when they do, he feels all squishy and warm inside about his kids and how well they're turning out. And also like a dirty damn pervert. He doesn't lust after baby!Daniel or anything, he just feels like a fucked up freak being parent to someone who grew up/will grow up to be someone who had very less than familial thoughts about. He just thanks god he doesn't have to look after a baby!Sam.
[17:19] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: God, that would be *intensely* fucked up. No. No baby!Sam.
[17:20] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: It's *bad enough* with Daniel. Sam was his 2IC. He is intensely grateful that he doesn't have to deal with that trauma.
[17:20] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Also, oh my god, baby!Sam would be a terror. Like, as bad as Rodney in her own way.
[17:20] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Rebellious. So rebellious, so pissed off with authority.
[17:20] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Sam would have command issues *and* "Crap, it's *Jack*" issues *and* daddy issues from it.
[17:21] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Yes, ALL THREE.
[17:22] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: baby!Sam probably played at being a goth or something equally aggravating to Dad during her teenage rebellion. *attempts to do math in her head*
[17:23] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: *attempts some more* Crap, I need to rewatch 1969, figure out how old everyone is. Oh well. Anyway. :P
[17:25] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: I think Daniel was born 65. I've always presumed Sam is a couple of years older than him. But let's face it, the canon? She is not consistent
[17:25] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Yeah, this is true.
[17:28] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Hm. mini!Jack really loves his kids and he got a lot warmer towards people on Atlantis in general after he settled Rodney out and calmed Danny down. He goes... very cold, very prickly towards them, when they deage McKay. I can't decide if baby!Daniel should be a clone or should be actual!Daniel, but if they latter, then he completely shuts down emotionally and is about as communicative as a brick wall when they deage Daniel.
[17:28] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: mini!Jack has, um, some issues with being abandoned.
[17:29] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Or, rather, having his family taken away.
[17:29] [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve: Boy, does Jack have some issues with family.
[17:29] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Yeah, seriously. And mini!Jack is about five times worse and a hell of a lot more bitter.
[17:31] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: He generally keeps up the cheerful not-so-bright facade, the 'hey, I'm not being shot at, life is good!' attitude, but every so often, zing, he hits people with a really cruel comment.
[17:32] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Usually when they say something that reminds him of SG-1.
[17:32] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: Not that I've given mini!Jack lots and lots of thought or anything.
[17:33] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: *cough*
[17:41] [livejournal.com profile] niqaeli: *saves log* ...some day, I may actually write this. Or at least, you know, snippets of it that amuse me.
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